Ah self-love… that beautiful idea that sounds so nice, yet often feels just out of reach. We all have our personal reasons for struggling with self-love, but it DOES play an important role in your overall health. Cultivating compassion and love for yourself benefits you, and also everyone you come in contact with as you embody and emanate the healing energy of love.
Let’s dive into some common misconceptions about self-love, and important perspective shifts to help you see things differently.
You are deserving of love simply by existence.
Self-love makes you complacent
Are you afraid of getting too comfortable, lazy, or unmotivated? Having self-love can actually provide the opposite! When you’re accepting and loving towards yourself, that often leads to inspiration and higher energy, which can translate to motivation and action. As an example, you’re more likely to exercise because you know it’s a beautiful way to love and care for your body that keeps you alive. Self-love can be a powerful catalyst for action and change.
You can’t love the current version of yourself and also actively be working to grow and evolve
Here’s some truth you may need to hear: You can’t heal from a place of hate. And so if you’re currently hating who you are now, that’s only going to keep you focussed on all the things you don’t like and stuck in that restrictive energy. It actually DOES take loving who you are now and accepting your current reality, to separate yourself from your ego, shift your perspective, and take aligned action towards what you know is possible for you. Love leads to expansion and actually facilitates growth! You can love yourself now, and still seek to evolve; the difference is that you’re growing from a place of love, which will make the process that much more enjoyable.
Self-love is selfish, and will lead to neglecting the things and people you care about
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. While this is extremely true, I like to picture love as the sun, rather than a cup of water that gets depleted as you give love. Like the sun, the energy of love radiates outward to reach all of us and grows stronger the more it’s focussed on and the less it’s restricted. Pull back the clouds and let love SHINE! Loving yourself gives you the opportunity to love others even stronger, with pure intention and without attachment. Imagine yourself waking up and tackling your day feeling energized and motivated vs. tired and depleted. The first is a much more enjoyable experience for ALL involved. And providing yourself with the love and care you need allows for that!
Self-love is weak, vain and arrogant
Having love for yourself is an incredible act of strength and resiliency, showing that you are willing to love yourself even in the presence of all that “needs fixing”. Yes, self-love offers an assurance in yourself, but that doesn’t have to be boastful or arrogant. Just like with anything, your intention matters. Self-love offers freedom and strength to heal from the insecurities and limiting beliefs that hold you back from being who you are meant to be.
Self-love is all or nothing, and requires constant positivity
Self-love is a continual journey and a continual choice, just like anything with your health. Check your expectations and standards you’re holding yourself to – are they realistic? There will be ups and downs, and curves you didn’t see coming, and the goal should never be perfection (because what even is perfect anyway?). It’s also about being accepting of ALL that you are, which means that all feelings and emotions are welcome. Drop the labels you have of good vs bad, bring your attention to what you’re experiencing, approach with curiosity and compassion, and act on your needs. Have love for the journey.
Are you seeing more clearly now how self-love creates a beautiful opportunity for more? When you’re not fighting yourself, depleted, and living in an energy of scarcity, you’re able to live more intentionally and empowered to take aligned action to support how you want to show up in the world. You’re able to experience more peace and freedom, as well as motivation and inspiration. Remember: love heals.